Water water everywhere - and not a drop to drink.
Or, in other words along a similar vein, 700 channels of cable and nothing to watch.
It’s Thursday night, and there should be something appealing on, right? I mean, I pay money for cable, so chances are I’ll find something interesting ... right?
My cable box answers me with the sound of crickets.
My choices on this fine Thursday evening:
• First, it’s NFL football – the Rams versus the Seahawks. A game I forgot was on until my mom called me asking what the heck the Seahawks were wearing?
Gotta love neon green. What were they thinking?
• I could check out the shopping channels, but there’s nothing I need. I’d joke about subliminal messaging on these channels, but someone would take me seriously.
• A side trip over to the paid, no-commercial movie channels nets me “Pearl Harbor.” I will admit, the special effects for the infamous attack are amazing and gut-wrenching, but ... who wrote this script?
I also idly wonder if I could make it as a screenplay writer, since someone got paid for this schlock.
• I venture over to SyFy ... Which used to show classic SyFy shows but now seems content to run silly films. I mean, I liked the “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark” books as much as the next kid, but who thought they’d ever make a movie. It’s literally about a kid finding a book of scary stories!
• Then there’s the “news channels.” Uh, nope. Click the remote. Bye!
• That leads me to the regular network television lineup for Thursdays. I quit watching sitcoms when they canceled “The Golden Girls,” and frankly, I’ve never been much into reality TV. I live reality, thank you very much.
All of this leads to the “off” button, and my picking up a book I have checked out from the library, “Project Hail Mary” by Andy Weir. It was recommended by a friend, since I liked “The Martian,” and so far, so good.
To come back to the beginning, though, that “water, water everywhere” quote is from a poem about a sailor who has nothing to drink but is surrounded by seawater. As you should know, if you’re stranded at sea, don’t drink seawater - the salt content is too high.
So, following the analogy, don’t turn on cable, because the content is too poor? Considering I ended up picking up a book, I think that’s fair.