The English language is flexible. Any message that a person wishes to convey can be produced with several variations in word choice and sentence structure without sacrificing the fundamental meaning behind it.

In advance of Valentine’s Day, I’ve decided to do resident lovers a favor by preparing a few alternative ways to tell that special someone, “I love you,” that are guaranteed to sweep them right off their feet.

“I love you.”

“I am attracted to you.”

“I am dedicated to being with you.”

“I believe it is in my best interest to invest in a continued relationship with you.”

“My person is noticeably excited by your presence.”

“This being feels exclusive affection for your being.”

“This human subconsciously seeks your continued companionship.”

“The cells that comprise this body experience emotional fondness for the cellular structures comprising yours.”

“Chemical reactions contained within this carbon-based life form suggest an unusual attraction toward the carbon-based form described as ‘yourself.’”

“My consciousness, experiencing a certain magnetism induced by your being, concludes it would behoove it to seek further accompaniment by your person.”

“Physiological changes verbally described by humans as ‘love’ are notably ongoing in this life form when in the vicinity of the body possessed by your consciousness.”

“The molecular compound, known in the English variety of spoken and written communication preferred by members of the human race as ‘dopamine,’ is present within the organic structures contained in this body’s physical boundaries identified by the dermal layers commonly referred to as ‘skin’ when it is near your body’s similarly-identified boundary, which leads the conscious fragment of this being to conclude that the cause of aforementioned dopamine presence is indeed correlated to the presence of the organic being who is the recipient of this mode of communication.”

“The primary organ, credited with providing neurological function to the compilation of organic systems comprising the human body by the intellectually elevated members of the species Homo sapiens of the class Mammalia, undergoes a chemical transition, brought about by raised levels of dihydroxyphenethylamine, the catecholamine formed by decarboxylation of dihydroxyphenylalanine, which compels the host carbon-based life form, referred to as ‘myself’ in this case, to seek companionship with the complementary carbon-based life form, referred to as ‘yourself,’ the concluding purpose of which will be to co-create another similarly-shaped life form and ensure the prolonged existence of the species to which our forms are categorized into by similar but alternatively-specialized intellectually-elevated members of the Homo sapien collection known as a ‘society,’ is noticeably more pronounced in the confines of ‘myself’s’ nucleus of conscious thought when the aforementioned nucleus receives external stimulation as a result of ‘yourself’ being detected by the organs commonly utilized for environmental navigation.”

Exercise caution when employing the above work, as it has not yet been tested on live subjects in any credible clinical trials.

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